A Letter to Our Wonderful Select Families

We want to thank you once again for being a part of our Select family. We appreciate your support and encouragement.It is important for coaches, players and parents to act and represent our organization in a positive manner on and off the field.

Our primary goal is to cultivate a positive environment for our players and families and we need your help to do this!

Select Parent Policies and Expectations

    1. Be Positive. Be supportive. Cheer for the team. Encourage all of the players. Keep negative comments to yourself. Remember that the players and coaches are doing the best they can and keep in perspective that it is youth soccer.
    2. Do not coach. Let the coaches make adjustments as they see the need. Many times the instruction from a spectator is exactly the opposite of the instruction given by the coach. Allow the players the freedom to make their own decisions and learn from their mistakes. Spectator statements like “Stay Wide,” Clear It,” “Pass The Ball,” “Get Rid of It,” “Move Up,” “Move Back,” and the infamous “Boot It!” tend to undermine the need for players to communicate with each other and undermine the coaches.
    3. Never address players on the other team, except to encourage.
    4. Treat the officials with respect. All officials make mistakes. Let the coaches approach the officials if they feel the need.
    5. Do not engage in game-related discussions with parents from the opposing team. We will be playing these teams for many years to come. We want to be known in the soccer community as an organization that has class and integrity whether we win, lose or draw. The score will not be remembered. The argument or inappropriate remarks will be.
    6. Leave the game on the field. When the game is over, no amount of comment, question or discussion with the players, officials or coaches can change the outcome. Regardless of the outcome, the coaches will evaluate the performance, reinforce the good things and work to correct the things needing improvement.
    7. All Players will get playing time during game days but certain players may play more than others. Players may play multiple positions. The coach will decide what is best for the team. Parents are expected to support and respect these coaching decisions. Players are encouraged to approach their coach during the week with any questions about their soccer experience.
    8. Please reserve the use of emails for exchanging information only. If there are any issues or concerns, we encourage players themselves to address them with the coach (in person, not via email or phone). If a parent insists on being present, we are happy to discuss with them but the child should also be present. Please wait at least a period of 24 hours before addressing issues to avoid the potential of an emotional confrontation.
    9. Keep the game fun. Winning is more fun than losing, but each player should enjoy playing because they love the game. Avoid offering bribes or “pumping up” your child. Allow them to become self-motivated. Make sure that you take time to enjoy the game yourself. I have heard comments from some of the team that they dread it when their parents start shouting at the referee. It is noticeable that when some parents get more and more agitated, their child gets more and more withdrawn during the game.
    10. Think about your own job. If you have someone who you knew was going to shout at you every time you made a mistake, wouldn’t you stop putting yourself in the position to make this mistake? That is what happens with some of the players on the team. they would rather not have the ball than risk having it and making a mistake!

The Six Things You Should Say To Your Child

A lot of soccer parents with good intentions give a 30-minute lecture in the car on the way to each match. Too often this lecture is filled with all their child’s supposed deficiencies while including tons of playing advice. They arrive far off their optimal mental state and dread the critique they are likely to hear, whether they want it or not, on the way home. Kids who are massaged in this way tend not to play badly; they just tend not to play, possibly to avoid making mistakes.

Parents should memorize and use the following six simple phrases:

Before the match:
1. I love you.
2. Good luck.
3. Have fun.

After the match:
1. I love you.
2. It was great to see you play.
3. What would you like to eat?

We remind our staff (and our players) often about our core values are at Select:

Respect
Dedication
Passion
Communication: Honest and Open
Integrity
Family

We hope that the families in our organization also share these values and can help us continue to make Select an incredible community to develop strong and confident young women.